Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant
“Cirque Du Freak” tells the frightening tale of a boy who unknowingly breaks a 200-year-old truce between two warring factions of vampires. Pulled into a fantastic life of misunderstood sideshow freaks and grotesque creatures of the night, one teen will vanish from the safety of a boring existence and fulfill his destiny in a place drawn from nightmares.
14-year-old Darren (Chris Massoglia) was like most kids in his suburban neighborhood. He hung out with his best friend, got decent grades and usually stayed out of trouble. But when he and his buddy stumble upon a traveling freak show, things begin to change inside Darren. That’s the exact moment when a vampire named Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly) turns him into something, well, bloodthirsty.
Newly undead, he joins the “Cirque Du Freak,” a touring sideshow filled with monstrous creatures from a snakeboy and a wolfman to a bearded lady (Salma Hayek) and a gigantic barker (Ken Watanabe). As Darren flexes his newfound powers in this dark world, he becomes a treasured pawn between the vampires and their deadlier counterparts. And while trying to survive, one boy will struggle to keep their brewing war from devouring what’s left of his humanity.
This movie probably has more fighting in it than dialog, which says something about how well the dialog is written. It is not as funny as some would hope, relying instead on the biting, punching, stabbing, and physical moments, some which are played for laughs but some of which could quite possibly frighten younger viewers. It is definitely written as dark humor, and unfortunately it is in the language and violence categories which the movie fails in terms of being a family-friendly film.
There are a few strong slang remarks used for male genitalia and testicles, and although the violence is seldom very bloody, there is just a whole lot of it in the movie. We are therefore unable to award our Dove “Family-Approved” Seal to this film. Look no further than “Astro Boy” right now for wholesome and imaginative entertainment for your family.