Jurassic Park III
Anxious to fund research for his new theory of velociraptor intelligence, renowned paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) is persuaded by a wealthy adventurer (William H. Macy) and his wife (Tea Leoni) to accompany them on an aerial tour of Isla Sorna. This infamous island has become both a primordial breeding ground for John Hammond’s magnificent creations and a magnet for thrill-seekers eager to encounter them.
After a tragic accident maroons the party of seven, Grant discovers the true reason his deceptive hosts have invited him along. Weeks ago, the couple’s son became stranded on the island, inhabited by vicious prehistoric beasts. They want to rescue him and they need Dr. Grant to guide them around the island.
When I was about nine years old, one of my favorite movies was “The Lost World,” about a group of explorers stranded on a hostile, prehistoric island, with Michael Rennie, Claude Rains and Jill St. John being led through the jungle by a native girl dressed in animal skins. I loved the action, the suspense, the dinosaurs, and oh yeah, Jill St. John and the native chick.
Because of that remembrance, I understand why kids love dinosaur movies. I saw all the dinosaur movies. They all had the same storyline, same suspense, and although the native girl was always different, I think they wore the same skins. As I got a little older, I discovered that it wasn’t the dinosaurs that intrigued me!
Alas, “Jurassic Park” has no native girl. It’s far more wholesome. There’s no sexuality, just bloodthirsty velociraptors and spinosauruses squishing, chomping and eating humans. The film has some positives, including a separated couple rediscovering their love, and the more noble characters being willing to lay down their lives for others. It also has very impressive special effects, with the huge dinos looking very real, and very menacing. The dino-saga has no profanity. And for those of you concerned about nine-year-olds looking at native girls in animal skins, well, there are none. This film is all about action. And it begins in the first sequence.
If you are searching for any kind of in-depth storyline, what are you doing watching a second sequel to a movie about dinosaurs? Actually, it’s not really a storyline so much as a concept. People are trapped on an island inhabited by prehistoric monsters and they must avoid being squished, chomped and eaten for around ninety minutes.
While I can suspend disbelief to allow for an island full of man-eating giant lizards, the rest is hard to swallow. It could be called “The Island of Dr. Incredibility,” or “Implausible Park.” First, how many parents would allow their child to go parasailing next to an island loaded with carnivorous dinosaurs? How many scientists can be tricked into going to such an island? Don’t they always see that the check clears first? And just how effective are cell phones? A dinosaur with the same mentality as Jaws eats the one in this movie. Later, we hear the phone ringing inside the monster. Inside! Further into the action, our intrepid heroes stumble across a valley that the creatures use as their toilet. There are mounds of dino poop, with one pile ringing. It’s the indigestible cell phone. But which pile has it? Guess how they find out.
It’s pretty silly stuff. But if you can deal with some gruesome scenes and a lot of intensity, here is one Hollywood production without much crudity (other than the poop scene), no misuse of God’s name, and a happy ending – well, for some.